It'll be grand....
Place: M50 Dublin northbound.
When: Last Thursday night. 5.15.
Destination: Downpatrick.
Blood pressure: higher than what's healthy.
Why?
Here's why.
2 minutes on to the M50, it became apparent that there were tailbacks. How? Because I was stuck in one of them.
I turned off my teach yourself Polish podcast and turned on Newstalk 106 to see if George Hook, the talk radio show's presenter, could shed any light. No dice. After 20 minutes of George, back to Polish.
Half an hour later, and increasingly conscious of the pressing family issue which had me heading northbound in the first place, I reasoned that perhaps I should call AA Road watch to see if they could provide me with any info. Part of the recorded message (because we all know that hearing people on the other end of the phone only occurs either during office hours or when we call friends and family, or when someone's chasing an unpaid bill) included:
"There are tailbacks on the M50 Northbound".
No kidding. I happen to be in one of them. When the automated voice turned its attention to another part of Dublin, I realised there wasn't going to be a "WHY", or a "FOR LONG". Then I tried to imagine someone who wasn't stuck in their car on the M50, sitting at home with their feet up, punching in the numbers on their phone to check how the traffic was doing? Didn't think so.
After more patience and attempts at pronouncing F**K in Polish, I thought "ah-haa!" I'll call EFLOW, the company responsible for collecting the toll fee, for surely they'll be able to tell me what gives.
Initially, I was pleased to have an actual human being in real time on the other end of the line, someone who "understood" that drivers have needs too and that the roads don't close, even when the offices do. Thought that might be included in the toll? So, after explaining my predicament to (lets call him) Fergus, he said:
"That's not us, it's the National Roads Authority you need to talk to."
I replied:
"Fergus, you're telling me that even though you are the people I pay for the pleasure of using this particular stretch of road, that outside collection, EFLOW takes no responsibility for providing drivers with information concerning tailbacks/delays?"
Fergus: "Correct".
Ok, so, still stuck on the Dublin side of the M50 tolling area, and no further forward along the road or in my attempts at discovering how long the delay might last, I decided to call "The National Roads Authority"-because, although Fergus could not provide me with information concerning a road his company collected tolls for, he did sound believable.
I called the National Roads Authority only to find, yip, another automated message. Only this time the all too familiar:
"Office hours are from......."
I guess the National Roads Association also feel that once the office closes that drivers cease to require road information.
At this stage, I wondered if that counting to 10 thing actually worked and finally decided to call Newstalk. Upon telling the guy on the comments line about my recent quest for road info, he resignedly sighed and compassionately giggled, and said he'd pass it on to George Hook, the show's presenter, for George to read out on air in the hope that someone in AA Roadwatch would hear, be suddenly overcome with a wave of social repsonsibility and call the studio with a prognosis. Off with the ipod and on to Newstalk. Ears peeled they were. But, nadda.
A journey that usually takes 2 hours and 20 minutes took twice that. 2 hours stuck on the M50 and I'm still no further forward-and we're expected to pay for the pleasure?
Maybe I should have saved the money on calls and kept the Polish on and said to myself:
"Auch sure, it'll be grand".
Perhaps, but then again....
When: Last Thursday night. 5.15.
Destination: Downpatrick.
Blood pressure: higher than what's healthy.
Why?
Here's why.
2 minutes on to the M50, it became apparent that there were tailbacks. How? Because I was stuck in one of them.
I turned off my teach yourself Polish podcast and turned on Newstalk 106 to see if George Hook, the talk radio show's presenter, could shed any light. No dice. After 20 minutes of George, back to Polish.
Half an hour later, and increasingly conscious of the pressing family issue which had me heading northbound in the first place, I reasoned that perhaps I should call AA Road watch to see if they could provide me with any info. Part of the recorded message (because we all know that hearing people on the other end of the phone only occurs either during office hours or when we call friends and family, or when someone's chasing an unpaid bill) included:
"There are tailbacks on the M50 Northbound".
No kidding. I happen to be in one of them. When the automated voice turned its attention to another part of Dublin, I realised there wasn't going to be a "WHY", or a "FOR LONG". Then I tried to imagine someone who wasn't stuck in their car on the M50, sitting at home with their feet up, punching in the numbers on their phone to check how the traffic was doing? Didn't think so.
After more patience and attempts at pronouncing F**K in Polish, I thought "ah-haa!" I'll call EFLOW, the company responsible for collecting the toll fee, for surely they'll be able to tell me what gives.
Initially, I was pleased to have an actual human being in real time on the other end of the line, someone who "understood" that drivers have needs too and that the roads don't close, even when the offices do. Thought that might be included in the toll? So, after explaining my predicament to (lets call him) Fergus, he said:
"That's not us, it's the National Roads Authority you need to talk to."
I replied:
"Fergus, you're telling me that even though you are the people I pay for the pleasure of using this particular stretch of road, that outside collection, EFLOW takes no responsibility for providing drivers with information concerning tailbacks/delays?"
Fergus: "Correct".
Ok, so, still stuck on the Dublin side of the M50 tolling area, and no further forward along the road or in my attempts at discovering how long the delay might last, I decided to call "The National Roads Authority"-because, although Fergus could not provide me with information concerning a road his company collected tolls for, he did sound believable.
I called the National Roads Authority only to find, yip, another automated message. Only this time the all too familiar:
"Office hours are from......."
I guess the National Roads Association also feel that once the office closes that drivers cease to require road information.
At this stage, I wondered if that counting to 10 thing actually worked and finally decided to call Newstalk. Upon telling the guy on the comments line about my recent quest for road info, he resignedly sighed and compassionately giggled, and said he'd pass it on to George Hook, the show's presenter, for George to read out on air in the hope that someone in AA Roadwatch would hear, be suddenly overcome with a wave of social repsonsibility and call the studio with a prognosis. Off with the ipod and on to Newstalk. Ears peeled they were. But, nadda.
A journey that usually takes 2 hours and 20 minutes took twice that. 2 hours stuck on the M50 and I'm still no further forward-and we're expected to pay for the pleasure?
Maybe I should have saved the money on calls and kept the Polish on and said to myself:
"Auch sure, it'll be grand".
Perhaps, but then again....
posted by Steafán Hanvey at 4:40 pm
3 Comments:
Does your blood pressure shoot up every time you think of this journey? I think mine would. I really felt for you while reading this.
By the way, is Polish a difficult language? I noticed when I went to Ireland last year there were thousands of Poles in the country.
Hi VP!
Always nice to hear from you.
Blood pressure only shoots up in those particular situations. It's history now that the blog's written.
After Finnish, anything is possible. Besides, Polish has a lovely "ear". At least I think so and there's no shortage of folk to practice with.
Happy Holidays!
My best,
Steafán
I can teach you Polish if you want. Let's start with the swear words. Psha Kref Hoe-leh-rha (that's phonetically) when you're really angry, tho translated, it's pretty nonsensical.
How've ya been, Stef? I check back often cuz I'm still looking for that new cd release...and the one song I was taken by. Still itchin' to hear the whole thing.
Cool pic of Gramps further up the blog. We can only hope you look as dashing by then.
Terri Murphy
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